


Oh, Calamity.

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Gen, Panic Attacks, but they still have feelings for eachother, lets say it got too intense being in a touring band and all that, they had to break up for some reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 06:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7607767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke removes his lip ring, removing his past and a huge part of his heart, destroying Michael and himself in the midst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, Calamity.

Luke felt like shit. He woke up feeling like nothing was right, like the world was against him. He woke up wanting to drop everything and run away, forgetting about the fans and music and the band forever and just leaving. He hated feeling like this but it has been happening for a while now, he's slowly gotten used to it. He stumbles into the bathroom and looks in the mirror, scratching at his scruff and deciding whether to shave or not. He doesn't. He takes in a few deep breaths, tipping his head down and relying on his arms to hold him up against the sink. He splashes cold water in his face, looking back up at himself and sighing-now is better than ever. He opens his mouth and reaches his fingers in, removing the black ring from his lip, squeezing his eyes shut for a second because the ring hurt a little to get out. He threw it away into the trashcan, sighing deeply and looking back at his reflection. Everything that tied him to Michael, to their love and hope and  _everything_ is now in a plastic container with tissues he used to wipe his tears and Ashton's Perrier bottles. As he leaves to get coffee, he braces himself for the worst. All he gets, though, is a raised eyebrow from Ash then a knowing smile, sympathetic one, and a pat on the back. He sat across from Michael, drinking his coffee, and Michael barely acknowledges him, let alone the missing jewelry. Luke thought Michael didn't notice, but fuck, he was wrong.

That night, Michael lay awake until the early hours of the morning, differentiating between sobbing and staring blankly at his ceiling with his tear stained cheeks and tears pooling in his ears since he was on his back. When he noticed Luke's ring was gone, he felt his heart shatter, then drop to his balls and probably out his ass to the floor, then someone stepped on the already broken shards, breaking them even more, sweeping up those and putting them through the garbage disposal then handing them back to Michael. They could've at least given him an instruction manual on how to repair it, he thinks. But no, he's left trying to put pieces together with nothing, since the only glue that ever really held them together was gone now. Luke's lip ring was their thing, he got pierced when they first got together, it hurts more than anything ever would again knowing that it's now long gone in a trash can.

Days and nights pass where Michael's only light anymore is his coffee in the morning, the fans at the shows, and the possibility of a hot shower. He's barely sleeping, barely eating. He had a good day today though, he only cried once! Granted, it was a hotel day and he was rooming with Calum, but the event is big for him. Soon enough, though, they're back on the cramped bus and Michael is still losing sleep. 

The next morning, Luke walks into the lounge freshly shaven with his hair messed up from sleep, looking kinda like a quiff. He's wearing an old t-shirt, the 'i dont trust me either' one, and sweats. Michael notices, immediately putting his coffee down and darting to the back of the bus, shutting the door behind him and curling in on himself. Luke looked so  _young_ , so like he used to when they were in love. When Michael loved-loves- him, it's just... different now. He hates the difference. He's so  _tired_ , his face is rubbed red and raw from how many times he's cried recently, his eyes sting red and puffy and he's surprised they are capable of producing tears. His soft hands have crescent indents from his clenching, his heart beating overly fast or barely at all. His mind never really stops, his dreams are of Luke, his days are of Luke. Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke. He  _hates_ it, he hates how he can't get over Luke. His bottom lip is bitten red and chapped, dried blood in certain places because he tries to silence his sobs, but he just doesn't  _care_ anymore. He  _doesn't fucking care,_ let the whole  _fucking_ world hear his sobs, hear his screams, because maybe, just maybe, they'll realize that  _he can't fucking get over Luke Hemmings._  

He hears a knock on the door and a soft voice.

"Michael? Mikey? Can I come it?"

He rolls his eyes and winces when he wipes them, getting up and opening the door, letting Luke in. Luke gives a soft smile and offers him an orange.

"Eat, Michael. You have to, okay?"

Michael nods slightly, motioning for Luke to come in and sit. 

"Mikey, what's wrong?" 

Michael breaks down again, groaning brokenly and violently wiping his eyes.

"Hey, don't do that Mikey, you're gonna hurt yourself, stop." Luke says, gently holding Michael's hands and putting them to his lap.

"What's wrong Michael? I'm worried, you haven't been this bad since London."

"I-. I'm experiencing a whole lot of feelings right now, Lukey. So fucking many emotions and feelings and it  _hurts._ Lukey, it hurts-it hurts so bad, so, so bad." he says, crying more. "I-when-hold on." he takes a deep breath. "When you came out without your ring, Luke, it really fucked with my head. Like, really bad. I knew that no matter what, if I saw that fucking lip ring, it'd be okay, y'know?"

"Mikey, I didn't-"

"No, stop. Let me finish. I'm so, so fucking proud of you Luke for being able to remove it, I'm so proud of you, you have no fucking idea. I'm happy for you. I just. I can't help but feel alone now. I'm not mad at you, I don't blame you, I promise. You're exactly how you always are to me, beautiful and brave and sugar sweet. I could never be mad at you. Ever. That's why when you walked out without the ring in it hurt so fuckin much, Lukey. It's because you're  _gone_ now. That ring held us together, it gave me hope and promises it'd be okay. You remember? Rem-remember when you got it done, h-how I held your hand the whole way through, and then how you said it was  _ours_. It was our  _thing_ , Lukey." Michael says with a sad smile, shedding tears, breaking Luke's heart. "Now, now it's gone, and a piece of my heart is too. A piece I've held onto so fuckin long, a piece I still hold onto, it's gone. We're gone, it's all gone now, Luke. Fuck, I'm so scared Lukey, I'm so fucking scared and I feel just like the little 15 year old hiding behind a fringe again with a stupid crush on Luke Hemmings. Luke, I really, really. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I haven't gotten more than 4 hours these past months, almost a year, my head won't shut the fuck up. I've started telling myself things that you used to tell me and that just sends me into more 2 am sobs and blank, emotionless staring at the ceiling. Except now I'm alone, and the one telling me I need help isn't you, it's me, and that scares me shitless because it's like, it's like I finally understand how  _bad_ it really is."

"Mikey...are you-"

"No, Luke, I'm being completely serious, I'm so scared, Lukey." Mikey sobs out, digging his nails into the orange he forgot about.

"Michael, god, I'm so, so sorry. If I could do anything to help you, anything, you know I would. You know I love you, you know how you mean the world to me. It really, really scares me how you're going back to your past self, you're not him anymore." Luke says, crying.  
  


"Lukey, fuck. Please don't cry. I love you too. I just. I wish I could get over you, y'know? I mean, no matter how hard I try, I can't. At least you can forget, you can throw the ring away. I can't. My tat, it's ours, I can't remove it. I literally cannot remove it, I can't forget about you, about us. I wish I had known the moon was closer than we thought, y'know?"

and yeah, Luke knows. That alone sent Luke into a spiral of sobs, shaking violently and subconsciously reaching out to hold Michael's hand. Michael takes it, squeezing, understanding. Michael's 'to the moon' tattoo was theirs, meaning that they'd be in love to the moon and back, making what Michael just said even more heartbreaking. 

"Michael, please don't get lyrical on me, you know it hurts."

"I know, I'm sorry, but you know when I get worked up that's the only way anything comes out. Lyrical and sad. Listen to Jet Black Heart." Michael replies with an empty chuckle,

"Michael, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"I know. I am too."

"I'm so sorry."

"Lukey, it's okay. C'mere."

Luke crawls over and curls into Michael's chest before shaking his head, motioning for the positions to swap. Michael rests his face in the crook of Luke's neck, letting tears fall as he shakes and trembles in Luke's arms, muttering apologies over and over as Luke rubs his back. 

"Mikey, it's okay, I promise. Breathe in and out for me bubba, okay? In....out. In....out. C'mon." 

Michael shakily does as Luke says, but his trembling and vice grip on his hand doesn't stop.

"So good, c'mon, just a little longer. You're okay, it's all okay, I love you, it's okay. Good job, c'mon Mikey, let's lay down. You need to sleep."

"'M sorry Luke." Michael mumbles against Luke's neck, kissing it as an apology.

"Don't be. Rest your eyes, bub. Love you."

"Love you too, forever."

"Forever." Luke says as he feels Michael's breathing even out. He feels tears fall from his own eyes, shutting them tightly and willing them to stop. He hopes everything is okay.

**Author's Note:**

> motherFUCKER i wrOTE ALMOST ALL OF THIS THEN IT REFRESHED AND DELETED IT ALL ITS 1 AM FCK  
> but anyways here i am sorry this is really sad


End file.
